i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
