I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
