This girl is more easily done than said...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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