Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
