You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
