I'm so fucking centered right now
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize