omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
