Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
