I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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