it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
