How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
