i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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