i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
being pregnant is like rehab
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
