Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
