My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
