Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
