We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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