maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
MIDGETS
????
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
