ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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