hell yes lets make some ravioli
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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