you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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