i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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