i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
