just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
