hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
