Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
