new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
