So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
