so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
