so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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