you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there