You work out of a Hotel?
I CAN MOONWALK!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dating After Heartbreak
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm super disappointed in my clit.