I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
