dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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