We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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