I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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