I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We are all done wearing pants today
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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