Just fell off a train. Bad.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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