So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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