I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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