Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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