She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize