just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You can't special order awesome
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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