the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
