Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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