This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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