Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
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