Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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