I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sext me about skeletons
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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