That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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