i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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