Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we made out on top of his cat.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize