I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
