Swine flu. Run for my life!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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