both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
