i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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