I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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