Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
