you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
