it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
