So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
