Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
