That's intense
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
