did you get engaged???
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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