I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
